For every Yin, there is a Yang.

Every time the Beatles sang that they ‘want(ed) to hold your hand’, there was a Mick Jagger swaggering on a different stage, snickering just exactly where he wanted your hands.

For every time Marilyn Monroe blew a kiss, there was a Betty Page waiting with a whip.

How could Santa Claus be any different?

Well, at least to the peoples of the central and eastern Alps he isn’t.

Yes, children, there is a Bad Santa…

And his day is nigh. December 5th, to be precise.

*

But first, quickly, what exactly are the Alps?

As per Wikipedia, the Gold Standard of Truth:

The Alps (/ælps/) are one of the highest and most extensive mountain ranges in Europe, stretching approximately 1,200 km (750 mi) across eight Alpine countries (from west to east): Monaco, France, Switzerland, Italy, Liechtenstein, Germany, Austria and Slovenia.

If you didn’t know that, now you do! I didn’t, but my wife does, since she’s traveled through them, and she is now gleefully mocking my lack of geographical knowledge. Back to the story…

*

So, there’s a a lot of German in this tale. Krampus’ name is probably from the German kramp/krampen, which means claw (though another possible etymology comes from the Bavarian word krampn, which means dead or rotten). Either way, he’s probably pre-Christian, and while according to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, his origins can be traced to the Norse Underworld Goddess Hel, I can’t find any other sources that substantiate or even make this claim.

In the Alpine regions, the festival of Saint Nicholas is celebrated on December 6th. That’s the day that good children get their rewards.

And the bad ones?

Krampus comes to whip ’em the night before. Best be good by December 5th…

*

Now – the real question: how do you spot a Krampus?

It depends. While the real Krampus waits for December 5th (Krampusnacht), what able bodied man doesn’t enjoy getting piss drunk and scaring the neighborhood?

This is called a Krampuslauf (“Krampus run”), and it’s spread far beyond the Alps.

As per anthropologist John J. Honigmann, writing in the 1970s:

‘Masked devils acting boisterously and making nuisances of themselves are known in Germany since at least the sixteenth century while animal masked devils combining dreadful-comic (schauriglustig) antics appeared in medieval church plays.’

So Krampus runs are nothing new. How do you dress for success as a Krampus?

Krampus is:

• hairy,
• black or brown
• one foot that has cloven hooves, like a goat
• horns, like a goat
• a long, pointed tongue
• fangs
• chains
• birch branches (for spanking the wee ones)
• And, on Christmas Eve, a bag to carry away the really bad children to be drowned, eaten , or dragged to Hell. Take your pick.

Now, I have to insert an ugly disclaimer here – there is another feature of Krampus with easily recognizable anti-Semitic overtones – his hooked nose. Prewar depictions of Krampus stress his ‘otherness’, especially next to the very Aryan appearing Saint Nicholas; however, most of the Krampii that I personally know don’t harbor those associations – they just think he looks wicked cool, that’s all.

Visual depictions of Krampus peaked in the late 19th century with the appearance of Gruß vom Krampus (Greetings from Krampus) cards. Older cards depict a terrifying Krampus lurking over children or leering at buxom maidens, though over time, he took on a more cherubic countenance.

*

What’s the take-away?

We like to be scared. And we like to make that fear manageable by finding ways to laugh at it. From Krampus runs, to Krampus cards, to Krampus night, these are all ways of having our fear-cake and eating it too.

The parallels with some of the Pueblo Indian Kachina ceremonies are striking. These include the Kachina version of the Krampus run, with masked adult men running around and terrorizing the children.

It’s also why we make and collect bobble-heads of Jason, Freddy and the Xenomorph from Aliens. Well, some of us do. Or consume horror media in general.

The point is, laughing at the dark is one way to shine on a light on it.

So tonight, leave a light on for Krampus.

Hopefully, you’ve been nice this year…

If not, Gruß vom Krampus!

Bottom image, our friends Shawn, Krampus, and Kyla…proving that Krampus is alive and well in the heartland of America (barring the Krampus Panic of 2025, which might be a thing).

Top images, public domain via https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/greetings-from-krampus/