Let me preface this brief text by noting that words can hurt, and be harmful. Please forgive my use of the word ‘Cretan’, as it has become a slur; I am only using this word in a historical context, and certainly mean no harm or disrespect towards anyone, anywhere. Words do matter, and as a person of mixed racial heritage, born and raised in a country where I was a misfit, I do know the power of words, and how cruelly they can be applied. With that in mind, let us proceed.

I’ve always been fond of one particular paradox, typically attributed to the 6th century BCE philosopher Epimenides, that is usually presented as follows:

“All Cretans Are Liars” – Epimenides the Cretan.

This paradox, also known as the liar’s paradox, creates an infinite loop:

If I state that a) everything I say is a lie, then the itself statement is a lie, which means b) everything I say is true. However, if everything I say (b) is true, then everything I say is a lie, which means we’re back to where we started, state (a).

Infinite looping. The kind of logic-bug that really messes up freshman programming students.

At any rate, I’ve been using this little mind bomb for years.

But, until now, I never new the truth…

or in this case, the myth…

*

Ptolemy Chennus was a historian/fablist during the reigns of Trajan/ Hadrian, roughly during the late 90’s to early-mid 100s of the common era. He presents with the following account:

Much like Hera, Athena and Aphrodite at the prelude of the Trojan War, two semi-devine beings were arguing over who was the most beautiful. 

First was the sea nymph Thetis.

It was foretold that Thetis would bear a son more powerful than her father; therefore, while Poseidon and Zeus both desired her, they decided to marry her to a mortal, Peleus (an event that would lead to the Fall of Troy).

Thetis would indeed bear such a son: Achilles, Immortal but for his heel, but that’s a different story.

Arguing with Thetis for the title of the most beautiful woman in Thessaly was Medea.

Medea, Granddaughter of the Sun, Helios; niece of the witch, Circe, sorceress in her own right.

Hell hath no fury as a Medea scorned.

When her lover Jason (of Argonauts fame) abandoned her, she murdered their children, and his new bride.

Therefore, when the Cretin King Idomeneus was called forth to judge their beauty, he might have had reason for concern. Yes, he had been a commander in the Trojan War, having lead a fleet of eighty black ships.

But taking on the Nymph Thetis or the Dark Shade Medea could prove far more dangerous.

Still, the Cretan King made and stayed steadfast in his decision.

Thetis was the fairest of the all.

Enraged, Medea called out all Cretans as Liars, and cursed the Cretans to never speak the truth again.

Honestly, I’d say Idomeneus got off pretty easy.

*

Now, given that Idomeneus was human it’s safe to assume that this myth is set chronologically within a life span of the Trojan War, regardless of when it was first recorded.

However, as far as Epimenides is concerned, we have a historic period, namely the 6th century B.C.E.

Now, let’s loop back to the beginning, and the statement ascribed to him:

“All Cretans Are Liars” – Epimenides the Cretan.

Now, by the 6th century B.C.E., the Cretans had adopted a kind of worldly cynicism, perhaps what be considered a semi-secular view point.

If you were to ask the average 6th century B.C.E. Cretan if Zeus was really immortal, they’d probably shrug their shoulders, give you a luke-warm ‘meh’, and move on with their day.

Gone were the days of awe and piety; faith was a servant to reason, and Epimenides wasn’t having any of it:

They fashioned a tomb for thee, O holy and high one
The Cretans, always liars, evil beasts, idle bellies!
But thou art not dead: thou livest and abidest forever,
For in thee we live and move and have our being.

— Epimenides, Cretica

So, my favorite paradox of all times, “All Cretans Are Liars”, isn’t a logical contradiction, it’s actually…

It’s actually a Zeusian Apologetic; a reproach to the faithless, a call to Cretans to repent and remember their creator…

*

The take-away: a 2600 year old religious diatribe has been misrepresented as an example of an intentional paradox by our contemporary culture (it took on this interpretation during the middle ages,c.f. insolubilia).

With all of their logical fallacies, internal inconsistencies and cognitive dissonances, how will the political/religious rants of today be misunderstood by future generations?

Can you make something great again if it never was never great to begin with?

Might this be come to be known as the Greatness Paradox?

Zeus only knows.