What do the Tooth Fairy, the Norse Gods, Sumerian Demons, Greek Dragons and Fluoride have in common?
In reality, absolutely nothing.
Unfortunately for Reality, this post doesn’t believe in You, either.
So let’s begin:
Folk tales surrounding baby teeth go back into antiquity – for instance, the Norse God Freyr was given Alfheimr, the Elfen world, as a teething present by the Gods…
Remember this: I’ll return to it later.
Keeping with that tradition, the Vikings were known to wear necklaces of baby teeth into combat, apparently for good luck.
Likewise, other European traditions sprung up – some to protect children from witches, others to ensure a better afterlife; however, none of the myths involved a “Tooth Fairy”.
Enter one Lillian Brown. Writing to the Chicago Daily Tribune in 1908, the paper posted the following in their Helpful Hints column:
Many a refractory child will allow a loose tooth to be removed if he knows about the Tooth Fairy. If he takes his little tooth and puts it under the pillow when he goes to bed the Tooth Fairy will come in the night and take it away, and in its place will leave some little gift. It is a nice plan for mothers to visit the 5 cent counter and lay in a supply of articles to be used on such occasions. Lillian Brown.”
What else do we know about this “Lillian Brown”? Nothing.
Could she be a front for the Tooth Fairy…
Could the Tooth Fairy –> Lillian Brown –> Lillith –> Lilitu, the Mesopotamian demoness who stole babies in the night?
The same Lilith who found her way into Hebrew Midrashic texts?
To find the answer, we now turn to Greece.
The Greek myth of Cadmus runs something like this:
The hero Cadmus was sent by his father to recover his sister Europa, who had been abducted by Zeus. Failing in his quest, he goes to the Oracle at Delphi, whose instructions lead him to battle and slay a dragon.
At this point, Cadmus is instructed by the Goddess Athena to bury the Dragon’s teeth, which gives rise to an army of fierce soldiers. Cadmus tricks them into fighting among themselves, leaving only five men standing. They in turn help him found the city of Thebes.
So burying Dragon’s teeth gives rise to human warriors…
Logically, does burying baby human teeth give rise to…
Incidentally, Cadmus’ tales doesn’t end happily.
He’s transformed into a serpent…
So, we have evidence that the Tooth Fairy may be none other the Lilith, via the newspaper record, and the so called “Lillian Brown”. Next we have an image of Lilith and the serpent that bears a striking resemblance to an image of Cadmus, whose narrative centers around the burying of teeth.
We know the Tooth Fairy pays for teeth; so much so that is has a direct effect on the U.S., and by extension, the global economy:
To what ends, you ask?
Clearly she’s raising an army of Dragons.
The healthier the baby teeth, the healthier the baby dragons.
Which means she’s also in cahoots with the Global Dental Association Cartel.
Fluoridation is actually a conspiracy to create healthy Dragons.
Remember this, children: brushing your teeth will only hasten the Dragon-ocalypse.
But are we humans the targets of her enmity? Or is she building up to something far more sinister? A war on a cosmic scale?
At the Twilight of the Gods, Ragnarok, Freyr will fall; he will have sacrificed his infallible sword as a token of love, and it will cost him his life.
Freyr, who was given dominion over Alfheimr, the realm of the elves, as a teething present…
So what if one of the elves is plotting against him?
So here then is my thesis:
The Tooth Fairy is actually a dark elf who escaped from Alfheimr to the Earth (Midgard).
She first appeared as the Mesopotamian Lilitu, then the Hebrew Lillith, stealing babies for their teeth.
However, by the early twentieth century, she discovered that it was simpler to just buy them off gullible parents. Along the way, she conspired with the American Dental Association as well as international Dental Associations to keep children’s teeth healthy. Adding Fluoride was part of this insidious campaign.
Like Cadmus, she sows these teeth, giving rise to hordes of (healthy) baby dragons…
All of whom she is training for the Great Battle to Come, Ragnarok, the Twilight of the Gods.
So what’s the take-away?
And always remember to brush your teeth.